I still hope...

So, I got a phone call in the night informing my Baba is no more. I was numb with shock, just few hours back I spoke to him. He asked me to buy medicines for Ishan who was running slight fever. I could not understand what happened, it seems he got a heart attack – the first of its kind. He had no cardiac issues, he got cataract operated a month back and as he was senior citizen so they did multiple tests before the operation. He was fit and fine, he was supposed to get the other eye operated in a month’s time. After that everything was a blur for me, we took a flight to Kolkata and then to Silchar. Felt pathetic to be at home when he was no more – the home that he built, the home that mom nurtured. He was just gone from the world, just like that. I started pretending that he was outside, in the market, in the pharmacy, just outside but still with us. Once back in Mumbai, I used to think he might pick up the call someday, he will ask me about Ishan and what am doing. Hope is such a fantastic thing you know! You can hope and no one can stop that. I never told anyone how pained I am, what I felt, why I don’t cry for him. He was alive for me all the while – just somewhere else, doing something.

Life goes on, so my normal routine returned. Not a single day passed when I did not think why he just could not come out of the attack, why the doctors could not revive him. Then there was a session on health and lifestyle in my office. I joined that just because I had some spare time that day. That session was such a great one, we got to know many do’s and dont’s regarding our health. One thing that struck me hard was the reason I was looking for all these years. The doctor said that most of the cardiac patients are killed by their family, of course unknowingly and unintentionally. Whenever there is any uneasiness the most likely thing that we all do is to drink water or offer water to the patient. Which, although sounds normal, is absolutely a no-no.

In layman’s words, when there is a cardiac arrest the patient cannot breathe through his nose and he breathes through his mouth. If we drink water, that passage is blocked too and we cannot breathe, resulting in our death. I don’t know if Baba was given water to drink as I was not present there. If given, was that the reason that he died of the very first attack? I am not here to decide or judge anyone or anything. In most likelihood, it was his time to go and he would have gone any which ways. But then I learnt a lesson looking for the reason of his death. I advise as many people as possible to not give water to anyone when they are not feeling well. It is always advisable to see a doctor first, water can wait.

It is 9 years today that Baba left us. I still feel him, hear his voice and still hope….