Fairy Tales - My First Love

Audrey Hepburn said "If I am honest, I have to tell you I still read fairy-tales and I like them best of all".

For me, the avid reader, Fairy Tales were my first love. When I was a 5 year old my mom used to read out Fairy Tales to me. Those stories had big castles, nice food, good clothes, jewellery, and a charming prince to keep you happy ever after. The ladies were always very beautiful and the prince was always the best looking man possible. That was when I started dreaming, not necessarily of a prince but of a life with luxury and love, a life of abundance. I used to think that life has only 2 shades BLACK - the witch of the story or WHITE - the prince or princess.

Then as we grow up, we outgrow fairy tales and our horizon extends to all other genre of books. We learn and understand that prince charming is not always charming and can kill you for dowry or not bearing a male child. The witch can actually save you at times by not letting you meet the prince charming. Good food and good clothes does not always guarantee a good life. The teachings that life gives are in contrast to the dream that you weave after reading fairy tales. Then there comes a time when we distance ourselves from fairy tales and think them stupid. I once reasoned out with a friend that life is always a shade of grey, it can never be WHITE or BLACK in totality. I hated fairy tales after I saw that life was not what the fairy tales told me or made me believe to be.

After some years, I had a 4-year old curling up to me and asking me to read fairy tales to him. While reading out the stories again, I realised what the fairy tales do. They give us a dream. It is we who decide how to take it. We can turn that dream into reality or we can just ignore it as I did for many years. Fairy tales teach us that there are always BLACK and WHITE in life and we have to choose which way we want our life to turn. It teaches us that there is always a WITCH present to mislead you and there is always a FAIRY MOTHER to guide you. You will not physically see the witch or the fairy mother but you will get signs and will understand one from the other. You have to choose whom you want to follow. It depends on us, yes, on us only.

So Audrey Hepburn, I agree with you - I love Fairy Tales, not because I have not grown up, but because I have grown up to understand them.

My Mirror My Son!

Mamma the fat lady in TV looks exactly like you!!!! I was horrified to hear my son utter these words without any feeling. Yes, he hurt me by saying so and he did not feel for my feelings. Was he mocking me? Was he actually being cruel?  All these things crippled my mind.... and then I saw his transparent eyes and innocent smile......  he came to me and said - but still mamma you look very beautiful. Awww my baby, although he is growing up I love molly cuddling him and relish such mamma-baby moments.

He is one person in the world who is my mirror, he tells me things straight on my face and does not even bother about my mood swings (his dad does!). So, he is very blunt at times telling me - "God mamma you looked bad  while dancing", or "mamma you cannot sing".
He is usually a child who will not behave in a very matured way.... he is always in his own world.... watching cricket or cartoons, trying everything to escape studies and eating biscuits or bhujia when I am not near the kitchen. But then he stunned me one day with his maturity. It was a Saturday and my husband was out of station. I needed to go to bank for some urgent work. So I took him along and we went by a rickshaw. When we reached the HDFC bank I realised that as I was not carrying my credentials so they were reluctant to issue a DD. I headed towards SBI in the same rickshaw. The rickshaw driver, a migrant from UP, started chatting with me. By nature, I am a person who loves to talk so within a minute I was telling him how badly HDFC treated me even though I have been banking with them for years. The driver told me that SBI is a bank I should always trust as it has its branch everywhere in India (even his village in UP) and how they trust people and all. By the time I got down from rickshaw, except exchanging our numbers, we were chatting like old friends. The moment the rickshaw left, my son turned towards me with an intense look and with utmost seriousness he told me - "Mamma you chatted with a total stranger for so long? Do you know if he is good or bad? Why did you tell him where we stay and all." I looked at him and felt that he meant what he was saying.And then I realised that he was very gloomy throughout the ride.

I promised him that I will be careful next time on and then he was back to his chit chat of how Dhoni scored 100 and how he will never score anything below 200 when he plays for India! But the thought never left me......  from where he got that thing in his mind? he is not someone who is observant, on the contrary he is always in his dreamland (playing cricket). But I was very happy knowing that whatever I told him about Strangers and not talking to them and taking care actually seepped into his mind.

I realised that under his immaturity and kiddish behaviour, there is a little MAN hiding, who knows where to draw the line and how to behave. I was happy!

Olympics and my life!

At the start of Olympics I told my son about it and he said yes yes I know and so am studying well. I became extremely happy and tears filled my eyes...my son has grown up so much that he is studying hard to get my permission for watching Olympics. Then the day Olympics started I dragged him to watch TV with me and said "let's watch the opening ceremony". He gave me a confused look and said - but there was nothing like it last time. My happiness knew no bounds thinking he remembers Beijing Olympics!! I kissed him and asked "you remember last Olympics?" With an even more confused look he said "Yes, I did not do good in English but my Science and Maths Olympiad scores were good last year." I did not speak for almost 2 minutes. Well, he confused Olympics and his Olympiad tests!! And that's why he was studying hard and that's also why he remembers what happened last time. I laughed hard and kissed him again and told him about the games thinking all the while why did I goof up like that?

Then from day 1 we have been watching Olympics together. After office and school hours we sit together and do homework in front of the TV. We watched how Indian archers went down, how India lost in Rowing, Judo. But we also watched how Gagan Narang won Bronze. How Saina Nehwal and P. Kashyap fared well and advanced. We cheer whenever Indians are in action shouting yay Saina yay, or Swarn Singh zaldi kar... or Jwala Gutta smash them!!

My main aim was to introduce this cricket crazy kid to a volley of other sports, to widen his horizon. Well, I know this is too much, but do not forget I am an Indian mother who wants the kid to be no less than a Superman! I might go around saying it does not matter what he becomes when he grows up, but in my heart I hope he excels in everything!!

So on the 6th day of the games, I have a kid who wants to row, play hockey, become a shuttler and also a great archer. He wants to get all the medals possible to India and make India a rich country!! Someone told him that Britishers took away all our Gold and Olympics is happening in London, so he thinks he can get them back!!

You can say I achieved what I wanted - a child who knows many games and is interested in all. But trouble was still there... I found him watching the India-Sri Lanka match with much more attention than ever. So to be sure if I succeeded I asked him, "Lovu, when you become an archer or a shuttler won't you miss cricket?" He replied without looking at me "Mamma, Olympics happen every four years, so rest of the time I will play cricket and will play all the other games once in every 4 years!!!" Surprisingly I was happy to hear this, I loved his passion for cricket. He is a true Indian after all!! Whatever happens to us, cricket is our religion!!

Are you 'IN'? I am 'OUT"

Often now and then I hear people saying - 'I am not materialistic at all'. I am sure saying so is 'IN' nowadays. You say so not because you mean so, but because you want to sound so.

Now, someone with a nice house, a great car and an awesome wardrobe once told me - "I am not materialistic, I can live without all these if the person I love is with me." That made me wonder if the same is true for me.

I thought and thought and realized that I am damn materialistic. Of course I am, I could have been content with a loving husband and a small house had I not been materialistic. I searched for a bigger house like a lunatic and then zeroed in on this after it satisfied all my materialistic needs. It is a big house, with sunny and bright rooms, 24 hours water connection, closer to schools and market and all. To top it, my materialistic mind was overjoyed to see that this house has a balcony too, which is scarce in Mumbai.  Then did I stop at that??  NO, I wanted the best colour on the wall, the best curtains, perfectly matching kitchen etc etc.......  the materialistic craving goes on......

Once the house was done, I was frantically researching for a car. Nowadays, Internet is such a boon, you can search for anything and anyone. Had it not been for Internet, how could you have read this silly piece of writing? Anyways, so I searched and loved the spunky Chevy Beat!. And I bought one.

You think that's all?? No dear friends no, nothing can stop me.....  now I love all possible flower vases, wall paintings, cutlery, bedsheets, curtains and all.....so I keep on buying them all the time. I also keep on buying dresses - sarees, salwars, jeans, tops, skirts, gowns....you name them and I have them, you name them again and I crave for one more and buy.

So, after giving it a proper thought I have realised that by no means I can say that I am NOT materialistic. So I have an altered dialogue for me - "I am extremely materialistic, I can live with the person I love only if he provides all these things that I crave for and agree to buy me dresses every second weekend and indulges me." I know I am not sounding 'IN', but then being 'OUT' is such a bliss and fun!! After all, we just have one life!!

Precious 2 minutes!

We casually mention - 2 minutes - innumerable times in a day, but do we really know what it means? Let me throw some light on it....

I was getting ready for office one morning, Ishan was at home with my sister. Suddenly he came to me and said 'aami du minute tomaar kole boshbo' (wanna sit on your lap for 2 mins!). I had no time but still could not refuse his innocent plea...so I was sitting with him for 2 minutes....  it was only 2 minutes, trust me. By the time I came out of my building I saw that my bus which takes me to the station was gone. I could see it going....shit missed it by 2 minutes. Then it took me a while to get a rick. Somehow I reached the station to see I was on time for my local (train). But to reach to that platform I had to climb the stairs and by the time I reached the platform I could see the train moving away. Gosh, missed the train by fraction of seconds!!  Local missed is horrible in Mumbai.

Local missed means I will not get to see the familiar faces, who will somehow or the other make place for me to stand comfortably and get down araam se. Local missed means I will miss out on the gossips of the train friends (in Mumbai we have train friends too). Local missed means I will miss out on Siddhivinayak prasad, or Sai Baba prasad or ghar mein pooja tha wala prasad. It can also mean missing out on the compliments which you get for wearing even ordinary dresses, now these compliments are such mood boosters I tell you. Even if you wear a very very ordinary dress your train friends will definitely say - "yeh tere pe bahut achcha lag raha hai yaar". Now that works how insulin works for diabetics!  

So I missed out on all those things that day. I got into the next train.....people were not ready to move and make place for me the way my train friends would have done. They were cursing me for carrying this huge a laptop bag and also a handbag. While getting down at Kurla, I almost had to fight my way out and my mood was spoilt for the day. Then I found my TLs and managers annoying, also my colleagues nosey and at home I found all possible faults with my husband.

Next day, my husband made sure my son does not ask me for my precious 2 minutes. He also made sure I got my bus. He called me and asked - You got your train today right.....great to know that.....  now I was so busy garnering compliments for my simple cotton salwaar kameej that I did not give it a thought as to why would he feel great if I got the train!!  ...am thinking now......

Strength of the Umbilical Cord

Read an article where Salim Khan said that Salman Khan is not married because he looks for his mother's qualities in his would be life partner. This left me thinking and I realised that it is not only true for Salman but probably for all men. Then I wondered if my husband is also like that....and to my utter surprise I realised that yes he is!!! 10 years of marriage and I never realised it earlier! Now I know why he did not appreciate the moong dal that I made last Sunday, definitely he was comparing it with his Mom's dal. Now I can see that every instance where he did not appreciate my efforts, are because he found it lacking compared to his Mom's. God I was blind all these years.

A feminist was born that day!! All thanks to Salim Khan.

I started hating all men who think Mom is the best and wife has a long way to go. I became a staunch supporter of the Wife Club (if any). We wives, have to suffer so much because of this Umbilical Cord attachment. That was the time when the newspapers also started featuring reports about 'How Men Can Never Break the Umbilical Cord' or similar reports. Were such reports always there in the newspapers and I ignored? Or is it that the world has awakened along with me to this bitter truth?

Anyways, I the poor soul, continued with my life with a resolution, that the day he utters one word of comparison, he will know why people say "Ghayal Sherni bahut khatarnaak hoti hai".

My son, my love was playing one day with his word making game. And he made the word MARRIAGE on the board, turned towards me and said - "Mamma I will marry Aryan!" I was numb with shock for a few moments (which did not look like moments at all). Then slowly I came back to my senses and tried to reason out things with him. "Lovu you cannot marry a boy, because you are a boy. Look at mamma, she is a girl and so she married a  boy. That's how it has to be." He looked at me scornfully and said - "Arya is a girl mamma." What a relief!! I did not know why I added the alphabet 'N' and panicked. Then trying to be normal and with a forced smile I asked- "how does she look?" "She looks alright mamma". "If she looks just alright then we will find someone who looks very very pretty because you are my prince Lovu". "No mamma, Arya is the one. She does not cry and does not take nonsense. You push her once she will push you twice. You say something bad to her and she will teach you a lesson. She is very strong. She is good at studies too and is very intelligent."

Till now I never knew that a 7 year old can think so much.... I was dumb when I was that young. So, softly I asked - "that's why you want to marry her?" He left his board game, turned towards me and said - "I want to marry her because she is like you ......  totally like you ...strong and all other qualities. So I will marry her!" He turned towards his board game again.

That was the best day of my life. I was happy and ready to jump with joy, when it flashed through my mind  - isn't this a symptom of Umbilical Cord attachment?

Realisation dawned on me  - I AM NO FEMINIST, JUST AN OPPORTUNIST!!

P.S. I truly hope he never gets to know my grades.

When you think past is behind you!!

After 10 years of marriage and mothering a 7 year old son, the only thing that is in my mind nowadays is to be back in shape! No, it does not mean that I have no shape now. I have one... a very much loved one by my son. He finds immense pleasure in jumping into my lap, which acts as a cushion for him. He loves to pinch (not hard) my oversized arms saying 'Mamma, so soft'. I, the always wanting to go back to shape I, find solace in his words.

So what went wrong, when did this craving for going slim creep into my mind? Well, after being super thin all my life, my world changed when Ishan came to my life. No it is not baby weight, I shed that immediately after his birth. This is weight which I gained because I could not stop eating for two people, way after he was born!!  Yes, you heard it right. The pregnancy hunger pangs never left me. Now I am consciously trying to put an end to that craving, sending a strong message to my body - "enough, there is no kid inside and you don't need that much food!"

People who kept on saying "don't you get food" all my growing up years, changed their dialogue - 'you gained so much weight'. I don't know if the problem is with them or me. I mean these are the same people who had issues with my 'NO Weight' state....and now when I have gained some instead of appreciating they are complaining again!!  Yeah I know, I did not gain weight to make them happy, but when they have a chance to be happy why they are not??

I have no major concern about my weight gain, more so when I am not having any problem in my day to day life. But then people.....these people......why don't they let my past be past and accept me as I am.

Well guys, I am the same person you knew always......  yes with extra weight but still the same. Please let my past rest in peace!!